Faxes, teleconferences, the World Wide Web, and other technological advancements guarantee that we can communicate with virtually anyone, anywhere. However, it's up to us to ensure that the messages we send are clearly understood by the recipient. Whether it's a face-to-face meeting or an overseas transmission, communication is a complex process that requires constant attention so that intended messages are sent and received. Inadequate communication is the source of conflict and misunderstanding. It interferes with productivity and profitability. Virtually everyone in business has experienced times when they were frustrated because they just couldn't "get through" to someone. They felt as if they were speaking an unknown language or were on a different "wave length." Communicating effectively is much more than just saying or writing the correct words. How we communicate is affected by frame of reference, emotional states, the situation, and preferred styles of communication.
Our perceptions are directly related to the senses -- visual, auditory, or kinesthetic/tactile (movement, touch, taste, and smell). Although everyone uses all three styles or modes to interact with the world, most people have a primary one. Research indicates that most people are visually-oriented, whereas the fewest number of people are auditorially-oriented. To ensure that messages are conveyed, it's important to learn how to communicate in another's particular style. To discover someone's primary mode: (1) Listen to the verbs they use; (2) Watch their eye movements during a discussion; (3) Observe their behavior; (4) Ask how they prefer to receive new information; and (5) Be aware of your own preferences. Let's consider each mode.
The Visual Mode. Visually-oriented people interact with the world by creating mental pictures. They'll often make statements such as "I don't see it that way" or "It looks good to me." When responding to questions or making comments, their eyes will go up to create a picture. They also may blink to "clear the screen" in their mind's eye, or they may look directly at you in response to your questions. They will use verbs such as look, see, picture, and imagine. When presenting new information to them, use colorful pictures, charts, or displays.
The Auditory Mode. "I hear what you're saying" or "It doesn't sound that way to me" are typical statements made by those whose primary way of interacting with the world is auditory. They like to discuss and listen to recorded information and music. When responding to questions or making comments, their eyes will go over to the side, often repeating out loud or in their mind's ear the question or statement made. They will use verbs such as hear, listen, debate, and talk. When presenting new information to them, take the time to discuss it and answer all of their questions.
The Kinesthetic/Tactile Mode. Many people are doers and are quite demonstrative, preferring movement in their interactions. They often make statements such as "I feel this is the best solution" or "I just can't grasp the idea." When responding to questions or making comments, their eyes will go down to get in touch with emotions and the motion involved in the statement or question. They will use action-oriented verbs such as feel, touch, run, hold, and move. When presenting new information, use hands-on activities, such as actually going through the motions of a new procedure.
In these times of doing more with less and increased use of technology, it's imperative to remember to do whatever we can to foster effective communication. By looking at the world from another's point of view, your employees, co-workers, customers, and vendors will feel that you're really listening to them. Listening and responding in a way that makes sense to them will improve relationships, enhance performance, increase productivity, and positively impact the bottom line.
Susan Pilgrim, Ph.D. specializes in engaging the spirit of individuals, teams, and organizations.
http://www.pertinent.com
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